Lex parsimoniae - the law of simplicity or generally known as Occam's razor.
Do you want to start over, if you would have the chance - with some life experience and energy to make a difference - energy a.k.a. motivation? That is the question many ask them self, a couple of times in the short life span we people have on this earth. Trust me you older you get the faster time will pass. I'm living that life right now - the chance of doing it all over from the awakening in a hospital. Cause in the 26'th of September 2004. Me and a friend of mine drove a car of the road in the early morning - diagnosis: my friend acquired whiplash in the neck and an acute Subdoral Hematoma for myself.
Earlier in life I wanted to be a fighter pilot, but my eyesight was not good enough, from the 5'th grade of school. The vision was not bad, but enough for getting glasses. That sucks for an active kid on a mission towards "Top Gun" - in the 5'th grade 11 years old. I always had great plans, but no real one that I could stick to, no real raw models - except from TV. I want a job for the rest of my life. Cause I will never retire before horizontal position and cardiac arrest. But I didn't really know what to do with my life. As shown by my crooked path from a second grade school; a school for timber logging and guide people in the forest, over to the way of science and The Royal Institute of Technology in Stockholm - chemistry. I still haven’t graduated from that school. Interesting with chemistry but no people contact and to work in a lab was not for not for me cause I want instant result - at that time anyway. Of course my parents didn't understand why I dropped out. Cause they find a job and stick to it. After dropout, I was driving sport motor cycle with turbo, no driving license, that's why turbo was a perfect choice. Just seeking for adrenaline and action while I searching the life for my holy grail. Due to that foolish lifestyle I had a private chopper to Academic hospital of Uppsala (on the 26th of September - 04) for acute subdoral hematoma (location of blood outside the vessels of the brain).
From that time, everything has gone real fast. From a drooling retard until two kids and now Med School outside Sweden. I thought it was possible cause I'm living the dream in motivation and education. However, I miss the kids so much, I could die. Just want to learn them to ski, swim, they can teach me to climb - the are getting really good, so I heard - I haven't seen it with my own eyes, I feel so bad. I'm missing a big part of their growth. Missing be there for them and to motivate them in everything as in schoolwork and to have a great time, chasing them across the lawn. A good friend of mine once said when traveling to Prague visiting other medical students that it is real important to keep a clear and focused mind when study to become a doctor so you can focus without any distraction, because the amount of input. But I have a dark mind, due to bad conscience. Cause I think of the kids 24/7. It is impossible not to. I want to be proud of my doing and my lifestyle when I grew old. Not the one going abroad for study medicine without the kids. I just can't do that, I can't. That's why this is impossible for me, even though I love this place and all the inhabitants..
So what to do? It's real easy as the law of simplicity - the simplest explanation is often the right one, just to follow your heart. I will get in Med School back home, in Sweden (just to study real hard, so I can get in) while helping the kids so they can reach their goals of their own and be there when they are growing up. I miss them all the time. The idea to come home from Medical School and lay beside them, just to give them comfort while watching them sleep tight, real tight.I miss them so much, to much....
